By Johannes Palmdal
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November 14, 2024
Dear Trailhead family, Larry Williams was successful. At least that is how he felt most of the time. His house was the right distance in and out of town; he lived in a neighborhood that just a few years ago was pasture and the 3-acre lots held modern, stylish, large homes. Larry’s was the largest. Larry drove a late-model pickup truck with all the bells and whistles. Larry’s wife, Betty, playfully made fun of his truck, saying it was more luxurious than her Mercedes SUV. She wasn’t wrong; his truck was nice. Larry and Betty were almost empty nesters and were enjoying the rewards of playing the game the way it was meant to be played. Larry and Betty met in college and chose degrees with great financial upside. Through the hectic early years of starting their careers, their marriage, and their family, they never stopped pursuing their goal of financial independence. They weren’t the kind of rich that buy NBA franchises, but they knew the kind of people who did. Larry had few regrets. His three kids liked their parents, or at least they liked the perks of being from a well-to-do family and therefore acted like they liked their parents. And that was good enough for Larry. Betty was great; Larry had chosen well all those years ago and Betty was the steady voice of reason and calm in the family. Betty kept Larry grounded and Betty kept the family together. And make no mistake, she enjoyed her status in life. Living in a midsized town meant that the Williams were small-time celebrities, and they were recognized and envied by almost everyone in town. Of course, occasionally having to cancel a tee time or lunch date with friends because of an impromptu trip to Cabo or London only added to the mystique. Larry and Betty were both involved in their local church and faith had always played a predominate role in their lives. As was common, Betty shouldered the responsibility of getting the family to church, often chiding Larry that he was more trouble than the kids to get out the door on Sunday mornings. But once at church, Larry was happy to be there and felt like the investment of time once a week was good for him and his family. Sometimes though, when the preacher wasn't totally on his game, Larry’s mind would wander during the message and he would think back to his younger years. Back then, 30 years ago, Larry was all about God. Larry had headed up a Bible study at his high school, he had volunteered at every opportunity at church and he had pushed his youth pastor to plan more short-term mission trips. Larry’s friends knew that hanging with Larry meant that, sooner or later, Larry would steer the conversation to something faith-related. It was inevitable. Larry’s best friend, Scooter (long story but it involved the school’s roof and a scooter) would place bets with other friends over how long a conversation with Larry would take to turn towards God or the Bible. Those had been good years when Larry felt certain about right and wrong, certain about what God wanted, certain about the purpose of life. But time and experience have a way of eroding certainty and losing Scooter in a car accident a few days before graduation had been the first of many foundational pieces to be pulled out from under Larry’s faith. Slowly, imperceptibly, Larry's faith became more and more peripheral. Wealth became a preferred savior, status did more to heal his soul than church or the Bible. Even after all these years, Larry would shake his head at who he had once been. But life was good and Larry wasn't complaining. His only issue was minor but still annoying. Once a week, sometimes more, sometimes less, Larry would have The Dream. The Dream was innocent enough, The Dream was no nightmare. But its reoccurrence was annoying. The Dream was always the same. Larry would dream that he was with a few friends playing poker in one of their mansions when he would excuse himself to use the restroom. On the way to the restroom, Larry would walk by huge windows that framed the mountains in the distance. But he never noticed the vista lit up by the setting sun because of the reflection he saw in the window. There, staring back at himself, was an alarming version of himself. Not hideous in that he was disfigured, but shocking in his poverty. Larry’s immaculately trimmed hair and beard we long and straggly, his manicured fingers sported long and dirty nails and his clear blue eyes looked empty and vacant. The figure looked haunted by nothingness, if that was possible. But that wasn't everything. The figure staring back at him was nearly naked. Larry’s muscular frame was replaced with a gaunt, malnourished body that was stooped and sickly. Rather than wearing his usual tailored clothes, Larry wore ragged shorts that were nearly threadbare, barely hanging on. His reflection looked hunted, desperate, scared. And it was at this point Larry would wake up from The Dream, his heart always pounding, his sheets always sweaty, his mind always racing. Larry hated The Dream. The Dream was so stupid, so disconnected from reality that he never shared it with a soul. And yet, somehow, The Dream didn't feel so disconnected from reality. Larry couldn’t put it into words, but when he looked at the broken, disfigured person staring back at him from the window, he felt that the real him was the fake, the fraud. And so The Dream continued its unwelcomed visit from time to time for month after month. Larry had given up hope that The Dream would ever not be there. The Dream was as much a part of him as his voice, his heritage, his DNA. And then, one night, The Dream was different. The Dream began as it always did, except this time, as Larry stared back at his forlorn reflection, another character approached. The new person was hard to describe as they seemed to come into and out of focus, but their intention was immediately clear. The person wrapped an arm around Larry and lifted a cup of something warm and nourishing to Larry’s lips. The wretched Larry drank and drank and his gaunt features began to swell, to return to health. But the person wasn't done. After the long drink, the person produced clothes. Larry was soon fully covered in new, clean clothes. But the person wasn’t finished yet. The person reached up to Larry’s eyes, eyes that still looked vacant and hurt, and gently wiped some sort of medicine on them. And that's when Larry woke up, eyes wide open. No racing heart, no sweaty sheets this time, but only a desire to be back in The Dream. Back in The Dream so he could spend more time with the person. Somehow, someway, that person was what this was all about. About that, Larry was now certain. Write to Laodicea, to the Angel of the church. God’s Yes, the Faithful and Accurate Witness, the First of God’s creation, says: “I know you inside and out, and find little to my liking. You’re not cold, you’re not hot—far better to be either cold or hot! You’re stale. You’re stagnant. You make me want to vomit. You brag, ‘I’m rich, I’ve got it made, I need nothing from anyone,’ oblivious that in fact you’re a pitiful, blind beggar, threadbare and homeless. “Here’s what I want you to do: Buy your gold from me, gold that’s been through the refiner’s fire. Then you’ll be rich. Buy your clothes from me, clothes designed in Heaven. You’ve gone around half-naked long enough. And buy medicine for your eyes from me so you can see, really see. “The people I love, I call to account—prod and correct and guide so that they’ll live at their best. Up on your feet, then! About face! Run after God! “Look at me. I stand at the door. I knock. If you hear me call and open the door, I’ll come right in and sit down to supper with you. Conquerors will sit alongside me at the head table, just as I, having conquered, took the place of honor at the side of my Father. That’s my gift to the conquerors! “Are your ears awake? Listen. Listen to the Wind Words, the Spirit blowing through the churches.” Revelations 3:14-22, MSG Grace and peace be upon you, Grant